Somehow some of the best parts of motherhood get left out of the conversation, you know, the ugly side of it. The haven’t showered in three days side, the my kid just pooped all the way up his back in his car seat side, the endless crying you do alone in the dark corner of your bedroom side. Motherhood is not always unicorns and rainbows, it is the hardest job you will ever take on. There are days your new little baby cries all day long, you can’t eat lunch, pick up toys, or do the laundry because you have to hold the baby. There are so many nights that you finally get all of your kiddos tucked in bed and the kitchen cleaned up, you can finally go lay down and within minutes of you pulling your comforter tight and dozing off, you hear the start of that little cry. Even more nights of getting the littlest tucked back in and at the same time you hear tiny feet running down the hallway. There will be countless nights of looking at the clock and seeing another hour roll past. There will be times you literally stick your hands under your toddlers mouth to catch his vomit in an attempt to keep it off of the bedding, he will poop in the floor and smear it in with his big brothers blanket, and if you’re real lucky he may go a week without pooping and while he’s laying on the floor screaming and shaking you are on your knees praying Lord please help this baby use the bathroom. It gets real ugly when you had a long night and an even longer day, your kids fought over a toy they haven’t touched in a year, when one set of eyes closed for a nap the other set immediately opened, and now it’s 7:00p.m., your tea boiled over, chicken is burnt, and the vegetables never even made it to the cutting board. You slip in the kitchen on melted ice the kids continue to get out and throw your back out trying to catch yourself and don’t even get me started on the amount of dishes that get broken. It’s all going to be ok though because one day they’ll grow up and move out 😂 just kidding.
It really is ok though because in the middle of the night when you’re still awake, that little babe gives you the biggest, gummiest grin and your heart smiles so big it hurts. Those nights when they are sick and the cuddles seem extra special and since none of them nap together you get one on one time with each. Your big kid just wants to hang out with you, your middle seriously gives the best hugs, and when you put your face against the baby right under those cheeks and you inhale. You take the biggest breath, breathing his scent in as hard as you can. You’ll have days during potty training where you’ll be sitting in the floor in front of the potty waiting on him to say “I done”, he will grab you by the shirt collar and pull you to him just to wrap his arms around your neck. It’s those sort of things mawmaw is talking about when she says “There’s your pay.” Being a mother is definitely the hardest thing ever, it is an emotional and physically draining job that never ends, it is 24/7. But it is by far the best most rewarding feeling in the world. Nothing can compare to the feeling your babies give you. There’s a physical pressure in your chest, a good pressure though, of the love you feel. You are a mother. And you rock at it. Even if you look like hell most of the time 😉