February 3, 2016

I can not believe that we are a almost week away from our third little babe being one year old. I say that about each boy on each birthday but this time I really can not believe a year has already gone by, heck I still can’t believe we have three boys πŸ˜‚

Each pregnancy was different, they got a little more complicated with each one. Logan was text book perfect with nothing but a big round belly. Layton was pretty good also, just had a few issues of him attempting to come a little early and a few blood pressure re-checks. But Landry, he pretty much announced his positive test with a boom. Not long after finding out we were pregnant we started having small bleeding issues. Turned out – placenta previa, which can be very normal early on, but precautions have to be taken. It finally corrected itself a little after 30 weeks. Every doctor appointment seemed like it ended with him sending me to the hospital to be monitored, the last few weeks he had me back in twice a week rechecking blood pressure, swelling, etc thinking preeclampsia. I had an uneasy feeling most of his pregnancy πŸ˜• the weekend before we were scheduled to go in he started moving a lot and really big moves. Most of the time that’s a great feeling, but I didn’t like it. That wasn’t normal for him. I stayed really worried about his cord and for good reason. 

We finally made it through those last few days and were in the hospital. After a few hours I call for the epidural, my water broke during. That was the first time I had experienced that, and I’m so glad I got to. With all three boys I have been induced and the first two the doctor broke it. But with Landry it broke as I was sitting up and being prepped for the ep. 

Everything (all night) was progressing quick and great but once he got so far it stopped. He never would completely drop. They would check and say “he’s almost there” but then he’d pull back up. Right before noon they decide we’re probably close enough to start pushing, so they call my doctor and get a few things ready. Shortly after we do start pushing and I notice multiple things but none of it actually “clicked” for me to think something isn’t right. For example so many nurses kept coming in to help and I thought “wow how nice of them, coming to give a helping hand, thinking they just didn’t have anything else going on so why not. Now looking back I do remember our nurse leaning up and pressing the call button on my bed but at the time didn’t think much about it. I remember Cliff pretty much just standing there, not really involved as much as he was with Layton’s birth. But there was a student in there learning and helping and she was where Cliff would have normally been so I just thought maybe he’s not asking her to move so he just doesn’t know what to do or where to stand. The mirror that you can have below to watch the birth πŸ˜– was pretty close, I didn’t notice it until I saw a nurse realize it was there and she moved it out of the way. Still, nothing major, more of a thanks ma’am I really didn’t want that there kind of thing. They gave me oxygen. Again, I had no idea there was an actual reason, I just thought they were giving it to me to help me out πŸ™ˆ. We did not push very long but I don’t remember the exact time, I do remember thinking that I wasn’t pushing good enough and maybe that’s why they were giving me oxygen. 

Remember how I said I stayed a little paranoid about his cord. Well turned out it was wrapped around his neck. Thankfully it never got tight until I started pushing. The harder and further I pushed the tighter it got. I never had a clue any of this while delivering, and I am glad that I didn’t. Our team did an awesome job of doing what needed to be done and not once acting nervous or scared. After he was laid on my chest he whimpered a little and made some small noises but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted him to scream and I started praying please just cry more, please cry more (still having no idea what had just happened) Real quick the doctor gave Cliff the scissors and hurried him through cutting the cord and then they took him and started working on him. By that time I could feel the urgency coming from everyone in the room. My doctor kept reassuring me “he’s fine mama, he’s ok.” Well that confirmed to me that something is going on. I found out later that evening why Cliff seemed so distracted and not really into it. He seen our baby boys face and head black and blue. He seen the force our doctor was using to hurry and and get him out while keeping his fingers between Landry’s neck and cord. Cliff had so many emotions running through his head and thinking what am I going to say to her, how do I tell her? πŸ˜£

But here we are one year later with a blessing meant to be here from God. A little chunky, always laughing, dada loving baby boy. I never talk (or think) about his birth because it is still very emotional, knowing the could haves that could have happened. 

He is our beautiful, God sent, miracle πŸ™πŸ»



You are already more

aghhhh, I hate the fact that I’m even making a post on this, but for wahater reason I just can not stop going over quotes, statements, opinions in my head. I usually pay 0 attention to the live feeds and posts on whatever is happening around us. Why? Because it sucks. All of it!! Just sucks. I don’t like to feel sad, threatened, confused, mad, or disgusted and those are pretty much the only feelings I have by watching or reading any type of news. I am much happier ignoring it all and living in my little world with all of my boys. But these women are killing it for me. Maybe it’s because they are women, I can relate to that. And it aggravates me that they are finding other things to be so passionate about other than the real beauties of being a woman- a MOTHER & a WIFE. No matter what accomplishments I achieve in my lifetime they will never be greater nor more powering to me than being those two above referenced roles. I mean I can literally grow life πŸ‘ŠπŸ» that’s pretty freaking cool and powerful. As a woman I can take a very broken person and make them whole again by something as simple as a touch. That’s our gift. We are love, we are nurture, we are compassion, we are beautiful, those things make us super-hero powerful. How do so many women today not see that? 

I admire, respect, and am so proud of any of my sisters who set a goal and bust it to achieve it. No matter what that goal is (work, health, wealth) but please do not loose sight of the most important things being a woman entails. What we were made for. Like it or not we were designed to be more delicate. And for good reason. 

fun fact – did you know that only a woman can grow, carry, and birth life? Yes, really! Only us. No matter how much money or fight a man gives he will never be able to do that. So you see, we are not equal. Women can have everything a man has and no matter what we will never be equal, because they physically just never can do things we can do. But are you really fighting for equality? Or are you fighting for power? To be more than a man. Why? I for one am glad I am not a man. Being a woman is already so much more. Being a woman is already so empowering in itself. Every woman is so beautiful, our bodies in themselves have such a story. Our hearts are like no other.

“Men and women are meant to complement one another. Not to be equal or to over-power. The genders are meant to balance each other out.” 

A big problem in the world today is the lack of love. Everything else important and great comes from love so if we do not have love for one another we will never have anything. No respect, no loyalty, no true wealth. And guess what big girl, that love starts with you. We are women, we are mothers, sisters, daughters, we are the love. Exert it! πŸ’•

Another fun fact- You can not demand respect if you do not deserve it. You do not have to earn my respect. You automatically have it for the simple fact that you are a human. But you can loose respect. If you can not carry yourself, dress yourself, or speak in a manner that is appropriate then you can easily loose all respect. Your fight is meaningless to me if you can not properly conduct yourself. And for the love of all women, please remove the tape from your nipples and stop scribbling on yourselves with permanent markers. You are only proving other people’s points, not your own. 

Thanks for reading my ramblings, there are so many other things I have said in my head but at the moment I just can not get them out. My two littles are fighting over a puzzle so duty calls πŸ˜‰ (like what I did there)



Don’t shoot meΒ 

“NO NO NOT ME!!! We here fo Landry!! NOOOO, don’t shoot me, AGHHHHH!” – Layton at the doctors office yesterday. 

Once again we found ourselves in the pediatrician’s office. This go around both littles were given a shot for the Croup and Landry also had an ear infection. This winter has definitely kicked our butt and it isn’t even over yet. My kids, well the two little ones mostly, just can’t seem to stay well. I honestly have no clue how either, I assume Logan probably brings the germs home from school, while he stays perfectly fine the babies catch it all. 

Trips to see the doctor are some of the most dramatic meltdowns I have ever seen as a mom. Remember my update post where we were sick the week before Christmas (like 3 weeks ago πŸ™„). Ok, so that trip Layton is crying “not me” and “I’m ok, I’ll be ok” “We fine, it’ll be ok” just repeating everything I say over and over. Sitting in the chair while we are working on his two brothers, saving him for last. He legit screams “aghhhhh” when the doctor just looks at him. It really is so hilarious, pitiful also, but funny. There was one time I had finally calmed him down and just for laughs the doc patted his head 😩😩 “aghhhhhh” “nooooo” “aghhhhhh”. 

No joke, they hate to see us coming. They know us by name, I can hear it in their voice when they answer the phone. We walk in the door – “Oh crap, not this lady again with those dang kids.” “Ok team here’s the game plan, Nurse A you call their name. Nurse B you get the restraints and the muzzle. Nurse C you turn the tv up in the waiting room so others can’t hear.” “I’ll diagnose real quick while Nurse D you’re getting the paperwork and prescriptions ready. Let’s get in and get them out quick! Ready? Ok, break!” 

This last trip was nothing short of the same. As soon as they called his name, “uh oh, oh no, no, I can’t” we were only weighing him. (The baby straight chill in the stroller, looking at his bro like…. πŸ˜‘) Once we were in the room he backed himself into the corner and pleaded his case of “we are here for Landry, not me” begging them please “don’t shoot me” (he didn’t want a shot) When our nurse sat down he looked at his finger “don’t give me a bad bandaid” he knew the prick was coming!!! 

Thankfully he quickly fell asleep in the car and stayed asleep until after Logan was home from school. The first thing he wanted to do was show Logan his boo boos “Logan I kept telling them to stop now!” while showing him his bottom where he got the shot. ☹️ that was immidately followed by the most pitiful sad face and the biggest most sincere brother hug. He just fell into Logan’s arms 😭 
(he really did keep saying “stop now” while we were holding him down for his shot.)

This is why my phone is always close by πŸ’™

I often scroll my photo roll looking at how much the boys have grown and changed and reminence on what was happening in the photo. The majority of our pictures are snapshots of us around the house, just playing and hanging out. I suck when it comes to capturing events and holidays. I try to hurry a picture together in the beginning before we get going because I usually don’t have my phone out while real things are happening. Regardless, even when I do try it’s nothing but grumbles from everyone anyways πŸ™„. I see pictures of the boys playing, or crying (yes, I’m that horrible mom that thinks loud bellowing crys are hilarious and can’t help but take a picture). Pictures of them sleeping, watching tv, coloring, playing outside, bathtimes, our every day lives. The moments where we really see who our babies are and I can scroll my iPhone and watch their personalities form. 

However, I find myself seeing photos from two years ago when Layton was a baby, and I can’t remember him. I’ll try so hard to picture him and it seems impossible without a picture. I’ll watch videos, for instance the first video we have of him laughing, at Logan of course, and I remember it all happening but realize I had forgotten that sweet sound. This happens with all three of my boys. Why? It bothers me to the core. Am I the only mama that can’t remember. I wonder do we just live most days going through the motions and not truly taking in every moment. I’ll hold Landry to me and literally inhale his sweet baby scent, hoping to never forget it. Logan is so grown and has changed so much, I can hardly think of when it was just us and remember what that felt like. 

We stay so busy, even when our calander is empty, so busy with our day-to-day schedules. Always feeling like there isn’t enough time in a day (there isn’t) that we often rush though most days and never really make moments last. Thankfully I take pictures daily, that we can look at. Logan loves to flip through them, him and I will lay in bed laughing at old pictures and videos. If it weren’t for them so many of those days would never be remembered. So many sweet sounds and features that fade with age would rarely come to life again. I have no digital files from Logans birth – age 4 ☹️ due to broken computers & phones. Luckily printing photos was still a thing then and I have photo albums tucked away. In 2014 I started making yearbooks through Shutterfly and hope to keep that going for many years to come. We look at them often and I also love to sit them out at birthday parties for family to look at. My goal for 2017 is to update the album online monthly so I’m not sorting through 1000s of pictures each January πŸ™ˆ

β€’he cut his own hair (4 years old)β€’

β€’we have a weird fettish with boxes πŸ˜‚β€’

β€’he’s a hand holderβ€’β€’scrolling photos has made me realize my kids never wear pants πŸ™ˆβ€’

β€’please never let me forget all of those rolls πŸ™πŸ»β€’

Logan’s own room

About a year ago Logan and Layton started sharing a bedroom. Layton was moving out of his crib and Logan really wanted him to sleep in his room with him. So we moved out the full size bed and replaced it with two twin beds. They have loved it, usually at some point throughout the night one of them wake up and get in bed with the other. That is possibly one of my favorite parts of being a mom. Walking back to check on them at night and seeing them curled up with each other ☺️

Then, over Christmas break Logan made a comment about wanting somewhere he could put all of his things and the babies not be able to break them: Legos, board games, drone, binoculars, the list really goes on. So we talked about actually making the back bedroom his own. That way he could keep all of his things together instead of scattered in every drawer and closet like we’ve been doing. We can even lock the door when he isn’t here to keep little bros out if we needed to. we need to. Cliff and I moved his twin bed in there for the time being until I can get him another ready (the twin beds match so they’ll go back together in the shared room since Landry will be making a big boy move soon) 

The first time Layton noticed Logans bed gone he was upset. “Ohhhhhh, where’s Logan bed? Where Logan go? Come back!!” I picked Logan up from his cousin’s house and when he came home was the first time his room was finally ready (two week process πŸ™ˆ) I think he was a little bummed about his bed being moved too, he actually realized he ‘moved out’. Of course that night he got in the bed with Layton. And the entire next day all Layton wanted to do was hang out in Logan’s new room while he was off at school. 

Layton moved into his bed when he was 14M old. Landry will be 1 year in a month so those two are very close to being roomies. I’m still pretty positive I’ll wake up to all three boys in the same bed most mornings. πŸ‘¦πŸ»πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ‘ΆπŸ»

update β€’

Lord help me πŸ˜† sorry guys it’s been so long since I posted on the boys but it has been nothing less than absolute chaos lately. When I sit down and think about getting a post written someone usually screams bloody murder. (literally) But ya know what, it’s a new year – new me πŸ˜‚ hah. but for real, I do hope to keep my blog posts a little more current this year.

I don’t even know where to start to catch y’all up. I guess the month of December ? Cliff went hunting out of town a few times this season so it’s been mostly mom on the home front. The kids are lunatics and my house is a mess, or as the cute little saying goes, my kids are making memories. December came rolling in with a bang. Apparently most of Logan’s friends were born that month because we literally had 3 birthday parties in one weekend.The Tuesday after that weekend (second week of the month) Logan had to stay out of school sick and within a day both babies were sick as well. Turned out Logan had strep and the two littles had RSV. Logan and Landry got well quick but poor little Layton carried it on into the next week. Finally after two doctor visits they were able to give him steroids to help out. He ended up having to miss our Christmas at Cliff’s grandparents house because of still being contagious ☹️ That Sunday Logan had an accident that led us to the ER. We were at a Christmas party when Mr.Independent tried to open a box with a knife. He cut towards himself instead of away and cut his wrist. There are no words for the feeling that hit me. (heart stopped) Out of all of the commotion I heard a very scared and quiet whisper ‘Mom.’ I knew immediately what had happened. I look. It’s deep. Like through his wrist deep. It’s barely bleeding so I kept telling myself that’s good. It was a very tiny incision but it was so deep that I didn’t know if he may need a stitch or two. Plus just because of the location (and me knowing what could have just happened), my heart needed someone else to say “Mom y’all are fine!”

We go on to the ER where he only needed to have it cleaned and glued, which made for a very relieved little boy. But the first words from the doctors mouth were “Mom this could have been devastating, he could not have been any closer.” (me still holding it together) 😩

Mind you, that entire week was one of Cliff’s big hunting trips. My limits were tested. My kids found out just what moms are made of that week. But it doesn’t end there. I was working with buyers all through this time and a few days later while I’m on my way to meet them I was ran off of the road and I hit a trash can. I’m pretty sure the trash can was made of lead because it never moved. However, it crumbled the front of my Acadia and shattered my mirror.

BTW ,driver of the red truck, I am OK. Thank you so much for stopping to check and apologizing πŸ™„ not.

Sometime last month Logan lost both of his front teeth. 1 one night and the other the next night. 

Finally we (I think) have made it to the week of Christmas. It’s all such a big blur, one thing  I do know is that I have never been so ready for a new year. We brought 2017 in with an Alabama win and spending the (kid-free) evening at a friend’s house. That was the first time in a very long time that we stayed out until 2:00am. I am still trying to recoup. Oh, but wait, Landry is cutting back teeth! #norestfortherad 

Here’s to 2017 πŸ₯‚